My tale of fortunes lost and found

From darkest woods where I recline

Don’t do as I Stu Pidly did

I’ll share with you the warning signs

When driving please stay on the road

If that’s the way you get your kicks

Don’t do as I Stu Pidly did

Attempt it at the age of six

For relaxation take a bath

Or TV watching may be apt

Combine as I Stu Pidly did

The two and you too will be zapped

While bun-gee jumping for your thrills

Excitement will be surely wrecked

That’s me Stu Pidly in the ground

The length of rope I should have checked

While charming snakes please stay quite calm

If ventures thus you will partake

As I Stu Pidly lacking charm

Am speaking from inside the snake

If lions maybe take your fancy

Head in lions mouth of course

Don’t follow me Stu Pidly folks

Please check you don’t smell of mint sauce

While fishing for the great white shark

A brave and most courageous feat

Don’t follow me Stu Pidly please

My boat was mostly made of meat

As sky-diving was once my love

It made my senses quite acute

The error I Stu Pidly made

The small action-man parachute

If swallowing swords is quite your thing

For love of some variety

Don’t join as I Stu Pidly did

An amateur society

For those who have a taste for chance

Russian Roulette is full of fun

Don’t fool as I Stu Pidly did

With a fully loaded gun

These signs I bring to you my friend

As Nostradamus did before

Like him Stu Pidly I am dead

My own advice strictly ignored

Richard Lee 2009

illustration by Claire Whittaker